A Lapse in Time

If you have been through a Great Banquet, Cruisillo, Walk to Emmaus, Tres Dias or anything like a 3 day retreat, then you may understand the point of a reunion group. In the last few months, i have discovered exactly why God calls us to commuinty with other believers.

The last few months have been a bit of a challenge and i've found myself feeling further away from God. Things that should be priorities have been far from the forefront of my mind. Although, i scarcely believe i am the only one who has experienced this, it does leave one feeling alone, and exposed.

I am sickened by the ease with which Satan is able to distract, re-route, and re-prioritize our lives. And in my case, it was with a tool of pure enjoyment, a hot tub. You see, Andrew and i purchased a hot tub in June and thought that we would have it all set up and ready to go in July. Such is not the case. We have had to begin at square one and dig out, form up, pour concrete, build a trellis and set I beams. Once all that was completed, the hot tub arrived at our house. Once here, we discovered a crack in the tub, it was finally patched, once that was done, we filled it up and discovered a large crack in the tubing. Needless to say, we are midway into november and the hot tub is still not in working order. You see, it started with the our wonderful handy man who has been helping us with this hot tub. He comes over on weekends and works on it. It started with one Sunday morning because he was available adn that turned into many Saturdays and Sundays of working on the tub. The problem: we weren't going to church since we had someone over working on a project. We felt awkward leaving our friend to work on our "toy" while we went elsewhere. Once the pattern began, it was easier not to go than to get up early and go to church.

Once we quit going to church, things started to change. Andrew and I began fighting a lot more and i began to feel further from God each week. Finally, i was feeling hopeless, feeling loveless and feeling like i was at a deadend street with nowhere to go. It was that week that my reunion group was scheduled to meet. See, all of us were going through the same type of thing. Some worldly object, or sitaution had pulled each of us from our diligence of attending church or small groups. Randomly, or divinely, we agreed to meet last Tuesday. Upon meeting, we all realized we were desperate for God, we needed support and we needed healing. We found ourselves sharing our deepest hurts and then ultimately ended up at the foot of the cross in the chapel. What happened then was a time of prayer and laying of hands on one another. The next week for me was filled with moments of joy, breakthroughs and a renewed sense of sisterhood and hunger for Christ.

I have since committed to praying for my girls each day, for my residents who i work with and for those around me. It is sometimes so easy to stray from God but the blessing is that his grace and mercy is always available to us.

I can't thank my sisters enough for their support, prayers and love. One of them emailed me this week with the following, i hope that it encourages you as it did me.

"But the Lord is my defense; and my God is the rock of my refuge." Psalm 94:22

FROM THE FATHER'S HEART:
"My child, do i need to open your eyes as i did to my servant long ago? In the heat of battling your habits and temptations, or when circumstances try your patience and faith, remember i am you defense. My angels do hand-to-hand combat at My command. You may not see them, but they surround you day in and day out. Open your eyes of faith. The battle is mine."

A GRATEFUL RESPONSE:
"Like a veteran returning from foreign wars, i see the scars of battle, those incurred when i fought apart from your strength. But when i depend on You alone to man the front line for me, I'm a victor every time. Lord, thank you for being my defense. I'm glad You're on my side."

A SIMPLE TRUTH:
Like a shining star, he lights our path, even in the dark.

I hope you have a blessed day and know that God is with you even when you feel alone and far, far from him.

Breaking Through

My Own Little World

By: Matthew West

In my own little world it hardly ever rains

I’ve never gone hungry,

always felt safe

I got some money in my pocket

shoes on my feet

In m own little world

Population me

I try to stay awake through the Sunday morning church

I throw a twenty in the plate

but I never give ’til it hurts

and I turn off the news

when I don’t like what I see

it’s easy to do when it’s population me

What if there’s a bigger picture

what if I’m missing out

What if there’s a greater purpose

I could be living right now

outside my own little world

Wooh

Stopped at the red light,

looked out my window

Outside the car, saw a sign,

said “Help this homeless widow”

Just above this sign was the face of a human

i thought to myself,

“God, what have I been doing?”

So I rolled down my window

and I looked her in the eye

Oh how many times have I just passed her by

I gave her some money

then I drove on through

in my own little world there’s Population two

What if there’s a bigger picture

what if I’m missing out

What if there’s a greater purpose

I could be living right now

outside my own little world

Wooh whoa yeah whoa yeah whoa

Start breaking my heart for what breaks Yours

give me open hands and open doors

put Your light in my eyes and let me see

that my own little world is not about me

What if there’s a bigger picture

what if I’m missing out

Show me there’s a greater purpose

I could be living right now

outside my own little world

Wooh My own little world yeah

My own little world woo

Lately i've had this feeling in my heart and i can't quite seem to shake it. It's like i'm trying to break free of something. I'm not sure where God's leading me with that one, but i do know that during the process i've been challenged to step up and step out. This song reminds me so much that EVERYDAY we see people in need of food, water, clothing, money, housing and so on, but what about their need for God? As christians we are called to give to the poor and needy, but sometimes we just drive on by, so consumed with our own lives. Myself included. What would happen if we made a small change? If we stopped to help someone instead of assuming that someone else would? Or gave our lunch to a homeless man on the street? The world would see a little Jesus and we'd expand our own little worlds. I am so challenged by this song. I know i sometimes feel like there must be something more out there for my purpose and whatever it is that God is doing, it's going to be so much greater than i could ever imagine.

Today, open yourself up to God's greater purpose and see what and/or who he puts before you. Expand our populations to a few more people!

Alligence

When I was in High School I had the priviledge of having an awesome youth pastor who shared his fears and failings and taught me much about life and walking with God. One of Chad's many gifts is the gift of Music. I still have never heard this song sung better than by him. Even more so the VOL, who wrote it. As part of the youth worship team, I have sung this song and it kept coming to memory recently, so i thought i'd share it today. I'm listing the link of off youtube from someone singing it. It was the closest i've come to the original version. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DveZ8OrswFE

Double Cure

by: Vilgilantes of Love

yeah today i'm sick of all i am

today is my setback

first i swear i love you

then i stab you in the back

i wanna drink out of that fountain

on a hill called double cure

i wanna show you my allegiance Lord

yes i wanna be a son of Yours

so tired of all my toys

they never last for long

they keep beaming dreams and wishes

to a big dish on my front lawn

bet you all have got a story

you're just aching to tell

haven't we thrown our coinage

down the wishing well

so go and call your neighbor

proceed with all due haste

go grab your wife and sweet family

see there is no time to waste

we're gonna drink out of that fountain

on a hill called double cure

i wanna show you my allegiance Lord

yes i wanna be a son of Yours

ask me why i love Him

He gave riches to this poor

yes and i will one day see that face

over yonder shore

This is simply a song I just love. We can have all that our world has to offer and still be wanting more. If we give our alligence to our God we will have riches in Heaven. Even better when we are willing to share what the we've found with others so that they can see what it's like to be a "son" of Jesus. I don't know about you, but i definitely want some of the water from that fountain.

Standing Out

Today i'm going to head way back to the early ninties for our song. It's the song that convinced my mom to allow me to listen to Christian Rap, back in the day. I hope this is a trip down memory lane, but that the message is clear.

Shine

By: The Newsboys

Dull as dirt

you can't assert the kind of light

that might persuade

a strict dictator to retire

fire the army

teach the poor oragami

the truth is in

the proof is when

you hear your heart start asking

"what's my motivation"

And try as you may, there isn't a way

to explain the kind of change

that would make an eskimo renounce fur

that would make a vegetarian barbeque hamster

unless you can trace this about-face

to a certain sign

Chorus:

Shine

Make em wonder what you've got

make em wish that they were not

on the outside looking bored

Shine

Let it shine before all men

let em see good works and then

let em glorify the lord

Out of the shaker and onto the plate

it isn't karma

it sure ain't fate

that would make a deadhead sell his van

that would make a schizophrenic turn on his crayons

Oprah freaks

and science seeks a rationale

that shall excuse

this strange behavior

When you let it shine

you will inspire

the kind of entire turnaround

that would make a bouncer take ballet

(even bouncers who arn't happy)

but out of the glare

with nowhere to turn

you ain't gonna learn it on "what's my line?"

Shine

Make em wonder what you've got

make em wish that they were not

on the outside looking bored

shine

let it shine before all men

let em see good works and then

let em glorify the lord.

SHINE

This song sounds so goofy and seems out of place on this blog with such clear other songs. But it was this song alone that allowed me during my tumoltuous teen years to dare to be bold and to dare to stand out against the crowd. Shining among others in a dark world can make you look strange, the outsider and the "oddball". But really, all it does is make you a beacon in the dark for those who are seeking. Christians get labled all kinds of things when we dare to be bold with our faith and step out and try to shine. When you shine, you draw others to you and you will see your friends and family change just because you have something they want. Make em wonder what it is about you that stands out from the rest.

A thought, if we are all shining in the darkness, we should see beacons of light and hope across the vast darkness, and then we'll know we're not alone.

Be bold, be brave, be fearless for our LORD.

Burdens

I don't know about you, but sometimes i feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders, or at least the weight of my little world. Life can get so stressful and at times it just feels like we've got so much laying on our shoulders that we can't move any direction. It's a tough place and sometimes we just need to be reminded that if we lay our burdens at Jesus' feet, he will gladly pick them up and carry them.

Lay em' Down

by: Needtobreathe

Come down to the river

come and let yourself in

make good on a promise

to never hurt again

if you're lost and lonely

you're broken down

bring all your troubles come lay em down

All you sinners

and the weak at heart

All you helpless

on the boulevards

wherever you are now

whatever evil you've found

Bring all your troubles

and come lay em down

we're all tied to the same old failings

finding shelter in things we know

we're all dirty like corrupted small towns

We'll bring our troubles

we'll bring our troubles lay em down

All you rich men

and high above

all those with and without love

all you burdened broken down

bring all your troubles

come lay em down

lay em down

lay em down

No matter where we come from, no matter what we've gotten ourselves into, we can bring ourselves and our burdens right to the feet of Jesus. I love the redemption there is in Christ. No life is too bad, no crime so bad that our father won't forgive us. Jesus throughout the Bible steps out and ministers to the unwanted, the lonely and the wicked. He didn't turn his back on them and he won't turn his back on you.

I encourage you today, to take some time and sit at the feet of Jesus. Sit and feel the grace and forgiveness that flows from his hands and feet, the hands and feet that were nailed to a cross so that WE could be forgiven.

Isolation-For Liz

I'm sure we can all admit to feeling alone at one time or another in our lives. Be it by choice or by circumstance, it can feel overwhelming and scary. The song for yesterday is actually one i've only heard twice now but still grabs my attention. Now only is the actual music for this song great, the words are fantastic.

You're Not Alone

by: Downhere

You feel the isolation, slowly take a toll

this season of waiting, is starting to get old

looking for acceptance and aching for a home

so tired of trying to make it out on your own

There's no easy answer, but one thing you should know

you're not alone anywhere you go

you're not alone, hear the voice whisper to your soul

a promise you can always hold:

you're not alone, no

You're stuck in a dive and you've almost had enough

because of what you've been through, it's difficult to trust

you're still barely hanging on trying hard to fight

if anybody's listening you want to know tonight

There's no easy answer, but one thing you should know

you're not alone, anywhere you go

you're not alone, hear the voice whisper to your soul

a promise you can always hold:

You're not alone, no

you're not alone

you're not alone

Reach out, don't reach within

I'm at the door if you just let me in

reach out for what you need

what you won't find yourself, you will find in me

You're not alone, hear the voice whisper to your soul

i'll never leave or let you go

you're not alone i'm with you to the end

you're not alone i'm closer than a friend

you're not alone i'm with you to the end

you're not alone, close than a friend

You're not alone

All of us go through times when we're in the middle of a battle, a change, or a broken situation. We feel alone and wonder, is God really there, is he really looking out for me, does he hear my cries in the middle of the night? He does, and he really is there. During some of my toughest, most lonely times in my life i have been blessed by a special person that God has brought into my life to minister to my heart and speak words of affirmation and truth to my soul. Thank you Liz, for being God's hands and feet to a lonely Junior High student! I am blessed by your friendship. Sometimes God uses people and sometimes he doesn't. What i know and hold true in my heart is that no matter how alone or isolated i feel, he's never far. One of the lines to the song says "A promise you can always hold" for a while i thought the line was actually " A promise you can always HOPE". Either way, it's still true.

Hold on to hope and hold on that God will bring you peace no matter where you are.

A Godly Man

We had a rough weekend at our house with our naughty little puppy recovering from his tumor removal. I'm hoping this week goes better and i'm hoping the results come back positively.

On to our song for Monday. This song really touches my heart, as a prayer of a man who wants to be a good steward of his family. It's my hope that men can stand up and put their families first. I have seen a wonderful example of this. I worked for a family in college and the father really put his family first and strived to live a Godly life to model for his children. I am grateful for that wonderful example and believe that if more men lived this out, we'd see less broken families and less violence. Children need a role model and mom's need a leader of the family and a husband to back them up.

Lead Me

by: Sanctus Reel

I look around and see my wonderful life

almost perfect from the outside

in picture frames i see my beautiful wife

always smiling

but on the inside, i can hear her saying...

Chorus:

Lead me with strong hands

stand up when i can't

don't leave me hungry for love

chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight

that i'm still the love of your life

i know we call this our home

but i still feel alone.

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes

they're just children from the outside

i'm working hard, i tell myself they'll be fine

they're independent

but on the inside, i can hear them saying...

Lead me with strong hands

stand up with i can't

don't leave me hungry for love

chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me your willing to fight

that i'm still the love of your life

i know we call this our home

but i still feel alone

So Father, give me strength

to be everything i'm called to be

oh, father, show me the way

to lead them

won't you lead me

To lead them with strong hands

to stand up when they can't

don't want to leave them hungry for love,

chasing things that i could give up

i'll show them i'm willing to fight

and them the best of my life

so we can call this our home

lead, 'cause i can't do this alone

Father lead me, 'cause i can't do this alone

This song really touches my heart as a man's prayer to take care of his family. I hope that all of you have someone who does these things for you, but if you don't, DON'T forget that your heavenly father can and does do all these things. Remember that he will stand up for you and you are never far from this heart. Our hearts are so desperate for love and approval and we look to the men in our lives to provide that to us (read Captivating by John Eldredge and you'll know all about it) we desperately need a man to love us and guide us because our hearts cry out for that.

My prayer is that God brings forth men of great character, who seek God's will for their role in their family.

Sunday at the Celebration

On Sunday, a very pregnant Francesca Battistelli played at the Decatur Celebration to a crowd of excited onlookers. I have been a fan of Francesca for a while and although the radio plays her songs often, it's not the catchy tune that resonates with me. It's the words of the song and desire to let go that gets to me.

Letting Go

By Francesca Battistelli

My heart beats, standing on the edge

but my feet have finally left the ledge

like an acrobat

there's no turning back

Chorus
I'm letting go

of the life i planned for me

and my dreams

i'm losing control

of my destiny

it feels like i'm falling and that's what it's like to believe

So i'm letting go

This is a giant leap of faith

trusting and trying to embrace

the fear of the unknown

beyond my comfort zone

I'm letting go

of the life i planned for me

and my dreams

i'm losing control

of my destiny

it feels like i'm falling and that's what it's like to believe

so i'm letting go

Giving in to your gravity

knowing you are holding me

i'm not afraid

Feels like i'm falling adn that's what it's like to believe

feels like i'm falling and this is the life for me

For those of you who have known me for a while, you'll know that this is something that is hard for me to do. I come from northern Illinois and never planned on staying down here in the "south". I had a boyfriend that i planned to marry and already had the names of my two children picked out and we were all set for our little house with white picket fence and two dogs. Those things didn't happen, and it was extremely hard for me let go of the dreams i had and the plans i had made and let God lead me in a direction farther from home, alone and scared. What i can say was that for all the things i felt like I gave up when those dreams ended, God has given me back ten fold. I have a new family here, a wonderful and loving husband and i still got my two dogs. Sometimes letting go and letting God is the hardest thing we have to do, but if we are willing to give up what we thought was best, God will do so much better for us!

Here's to letting go and letting God lead us where he wants us to be.

My Brothers Keeper

I think sometimes we feel alone even when we are surrounded by other people. We can be in a gym filled with fans, or a church filled with believers and still feel so isolated from the person right next to us. Often we need community, brotherhood and fellow believers. At times we need those people to come to us and embrace us when we don't ask for ourselves. What a difference it can make when someone steps up and asks if they can pray for you, or a someone asks how it's going and truly means it and wants to hear the answer.

Today's song embodies the importance of looking out for those around us.

Hold us Together

By Matt Marr

It don't have a job

won't pay your bills

won't buy you a home

in Beverly Hills

Won't fix your life

in five easy steps

ani't the law of the land

or the government

But it's all you need

Love will hold us together

make us a shelter

to weather the storm

and i'll be my brother's keeper

so th whole world will know

that we're not alone

It's waiting for you

knockin' at your door

every moment of truth

when your heart hits the floor

When you're on your knees

and i'll be my brother's keeper

so the whole world will know

that we're not alone

This is the first day of the rest of your life

this is the first day of the rest of your life

cause even in the dark you can still see the light

it's gonna be alright

Love will hold us together

make us a shelter

to weather the storm

and i'll be my brothers keeper

so the whole world will know

that we're not alone

This song is a great reminder of how important it is to look out for our spiritual brother's a sisters and to be willing to weather the storm with them. A little love toward someone goes a really long way and that can be all someone needs to make it through a tough time.

Make sure you give out some brotherly love today.

I love you more

Yesterday while on my home from work i was listening to the radio and a great song, that i've known for what seems like forever, came on. What shocked me most was the words that hit me this time. Each time i hear this song and sing along but sometimes gloss over the true meaning.

More

By Matthew West

Take a look at the mountain

stretching a mile high

take a look at the ocean

far as your eye can see

and think of me

Take a look at the desert

do you feel like a grain of sand

i am with you wherever

where you go is where i am

And I'm always thinking of you

take a look around you

i'm spelling it out one by one

Chorus:

I love you more than the sun

and the stars that i taught how to shine

you are mine and you shine for me too

i love you yesterday and today

and tomorrow i'll say it again and again

i love you more

Just a face in the city

just a tear in the crowded street

but you are one in a million

and you belong to me

And i want you to know

I'm not letting go

even when you come undone

Chorus:

I love you more than sun

and the stars that i taught how to shine

you are mine and you shine for me too

i love you yesterday and today

and tomorrow i'll say it again and again

i love you more

You shine for me

you shine for me

you shine on, you shine on

you shine for me

Chorus

I love you more than the sun

and the stars that i taught how to shine

you are mine and you shine for me too

i love you yesterday and today

through the joy and the pain

i'll say it again and again

i love you more, i love you more

And i see you and i made you

and i love you more than you can imagine

more than you can fathome

i love you more than the sun

and you shine for me

I am reminded that while God made all of creation, the heavens and the earth, he is most in love with us, sinful humans. He loves us more in our failings than he does the sun that never disappoints him, never lets him down. I am awed at how much our father loves us that he knows every tear we cry, no matter how small and insignificant we feel, like a grain of sand in the desert. I find it hard to believe that i am loved so much that God knows the numbers of hairs on my head. (Does that count the ones that fall off?!!). Be reminded today that no matter where you are, what you've done, or how you've failed, God loves you so much more than you can ever imagine.

Rest in God's love today.

A Summer Challenge

To start, I have absolutely no idea what i'm going to do with this blog, but i think that's the unique thing about having a blog, you can do whatever you want with it.

My faith, my dogs, and my family are very important to me and i've always got great stories of funny things that happen. I also work with seniors and have many odd and funny tales to go along. I'm sure this will be a mix of things that come to mind over the days and will entertain you, challenge you and hopefully give you a glimpse into the life of a thirsty sinner like me.

I work in another town, in another county two days a week and that leaves me with about a 45 minute commute each way. I see this as a blessing most days. I get alone, quiet time and get to rock out with WBGL in the mornings. I love this chance to worship, pray and talk to God. I have found that we often have small moments of worship throughout the day. We don't always have the time to just stop what we are doing and worship or pray or read the word. Sometimes we are lucky to remember to even eat dinner let alone find time to talk with God. I am sure that my position here is in part to allow me time to sit in God's presence and be touched by his spirit.

Today i want to share a song that touches me EVERY time I hear it and has for several months now.

What Do I know of Holy

Addison Road

I made you promises a thousand times

i tried to hear from heaven

but i talked the whole time

i think i made you too small

i never feared you at all no

if you touched my face would i know you?

looked into my eyes could i behold you?

What do i know of you

who spoke me into motion?

where have i even stood

but the shore along your ocean?

Are you Fire? Are you fury?

Are you Sacred? Are you beautiful?

What do i know? What do i know of holy?

I guess i thought i had figured you out

i knew all the stories and i learned to talk about

how you were mighty to save

those were only empty words on a page

then i caught a glimpse of who you might be

the slighest hint of you brought me down to my knees

What i do i know of you?

who spoke me into motion?

where have i even stood

but the shore along your ocean?

Are you fire? are you fury?

Are you sacred? are you beautiful?

What i do know? What do i know of holy?

What do i know of Holy?

what do i know of wounds that will heal my shame?

and a God who gave life "its" name?

what do i know of holy?

of the one who the angels praise?

All creation knows your name

on earth and Heaven above

what do i know of this love?

This song humbles me whenever i hear it. Not only because it talks of a God who is real but it reminds me that i really don't know Holy. I know the stories and i can talk about God's grace and love, but to be face to face with the God of Creation is intimidating to say the least. This song just simply reminds me that as much as i know about God, there is sooooo much more i don't know or havent' learned to hide in my own heart.

I hope that this song invites you to learn more about our God to go beyond just standing on the shore of his Ocean.

Have an awesome day!